I absolutely have. After my first blissful encounter of what trust and self love (in my version also love for all that life brings) feels like through my first own well prepared cacao ceremony for myself, I had a three day long anxiety attack around 2/3 weeks later. Which totally shook me to my core, never having experienced such intensity before and that almost alone in the far northwest of Iceland during a snow storm. And it so had to happen for me to slowly over years realise my anxiety I carrried, which now surfaced and my worries and mental struggles finally got detached from my identity and I could actively move forward in my healing. Plus I discovered myth and meaning in life which led me to where I am today, a calm and centred mom and self employed happy family financial provider through the means of incredibly fun work. And just today before your post, I felt one of these waves of stagnation, of mental pull and fear of not being able to provide rent for next month, of needing to get work done and noticing my distractive behaviour. Alas, here comes another layer, a new chance to alchemise. It’s becoming less intense, less black I guess but there’s always new layers
I would love to know if techniques I can use to do some shadow work. I think I’m at a stage where I need to explore my shadow side. If I were to ask myself shadow work questions, what should I ask? Would love to hear your thoughts on this. Is Tarot a good tool to use for this?
And btw so much of our sociocultural confusion arises from projecting that energy onto others. See what you hate in others, but can’t stop noticing, to see what dark forces attract you to what you apparently hate. You could possibly be seeking integration.
Boy this is spot on. So much of therapy is precisely what you listed near the end here in terms of working with the shadow. Most come to therapy to GET RID OF and not integrate that dark energy. The reasons are fairly straightforward, unless of course you’re operating from within the system.
Gosh. I painted a picture of current inner landscape last week, and it features a black sun, so your opening image was quite resonant! The post you have written is v pertinent again. I am struggling with panic (never had panic attacks before) after an experience of feeling overwhelmed by unconscious content. I think the panic is to do with the fear, fear of fear, if you know what I mean, and anxieyt that a door opened at the back of the head that cannot now be closed. It is really difficult work.. My current image is of a person with a v small lantern at the threshold of the dark passage leading down to who-knows-where, thinking the light may not hold. There is a therapeutic container, however, so I am not alone. I have been re-reading your post on casting protective circles. However, if the shadow is to be encountered, it doesn't feel right or even possible to do something that tries to keep it at bay, it has to come through, be experienced, eventually integrated. Holding the panic attacks at bay is currently hard work.
Yes, just a few months ago, in fact. I'd had a few new realizations about a shadow that showed up in certain key aspects of my life. During this time everything felt heavy and dark. Bleak. I had trouble communicating and emotions constantly took over. I didn't have the context at the time to frame this state in alchemical sense, but I now know this clearly was a nigredo stage in which I had some valuable opportunities to learn how to navigate it. During this time I leaned into intuitive guidance, which led me to a place where I was able to rest, reflect and ultimately heal and develop a new relationship with the shadow material. I had a dream few weeks later in which I was gliding along on a path that led through a shimmering lake where everything was bright and I moved effortlessly. It felt like an affirmation that change was happening. I definitely appreciate this topic. Thank you for sharing!
This line really hit me: “Rather than turn away from this act, alchemists counsel us to stay with it, to make things blacker than black.”
I have had a couple of “tower” moments in the last five years, and I felt like I was taken deep into the blackest black. I’m grateful for it now because that death (or many deaths) was essential for my new life to be born.
I absolutely have. After my first blissful encounter of what trust and self love (in my version also love for all that life brings) feels like through my first own well prepared cacao ceremony for myself, I had a three day long anxiety attack around 2/3 weeks later. Which totally shook me to my core, never having experienced such intensity before and that almost alone in the far northwest of Iceland during a snow storm. And it so had to happen for me to slowly over years realise my anxiety I carrried, which now surfaced and my worries and mental struggles finally got detached from my identity and I could actively move forward in my healing. Plus I discovered myth and meaning in life which led me to where I am today, a calm and centred mom and self employed happy family financial provider through the means of incredibly fun work. And just today before your post, I felt one of these waves of stagnation, of mental pull and fear of not being able to provide rent for next month, of needing to get work done and noticing my distractive behaviour. Alas, here comes another layer, a new chance to alchemise. It’s becoming less intense, less black I guess but there’s always new layers
I would love to know if techniques I can use to do some shadow work. I think I’m at a stage where I need to explore my shadow side. If I were to ask myself shadow work questions, what should I ask? Would love to hear your thoughts on this. Is Tarot a good tool to use for this?
And btw so much of our sociocultural confusion arises from projecting that energy onto others. See what you hate in others, but can’t stop noticing, to see what dark forces attract you to what you apparently hate. You could possibly be seeking integration.
Boy this is spot on. So much of therapy is precisely what you listed near the end here in terms of working with the shadow. Most come to therapy to GET RID OF and not integrate that dark energy. The reasons are fairly straightforward, unless of course you’re operating from within the system.
Thank you 🙏🏻.
Gosh. I painted a picture of current inner landscape last week, and it features a black sun, so your opening image was quite resonant! The post you have written is v pertinent again. I am struggling with panic (never had panic attacks before) after an experience of feeling overwhelmed by unconscious content. I think the panic is to do with the fear, fear of fear, if you know what I mean, and anxieyt that a door opened at the back of the head that cannot now be closed. It is really difficult work.. My current image is of a person with a v small lantern at the threshold of the dark passage leading down to who-knows-where, thinking the light may not hold. There is a therapeutic container, however, so I am not alone. I have been re-reading your post on casting protective circles. However, if the shadow is to be encountered, it doesn't feel right or even possible to do something that tries to keep it at bay, it has to come through, be experienced, eventually integrated. Holding the panic attacks at bay is currently hard work.
Yes, just a few months ago, in fact. I'd had a few new realizations about a shadow that showed up in certain key aspects of my life. During this time everything felt heavy and dark. Bleak. I had trouble communicating and emotions constantly took over. I didn't have the context at the time to frame this state in alchemical sense, but I now know this clearly was a nigredo stage in which I had some valuable opportunities to learn how to navigate it. During this time I leaned into intuitive guidance, which led me to a place where I was able to rest, reflect and ultimately heal and develop a new relationship with the shadow material. I had a dream few weeks later in which I was gliding along on a path that led through a shimmering lake where everything was bright and I moved effortlessly. It felt like an affirmation that change was happening. I definitely appreciate this topic. Thank you for sharing!
I’m glad I found your publication. ✨
This line really hit me: “Rather than turn away from this act, alchemists counsel us to stay with it, to make things blacker than black.”
I have had a couple of “tower” moments in the last five years, and I felt like I was taken deep into the blackest black. I’m grateful for it now because that death (or many deaths) was essential for my new life to be born.